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20121007
20121015
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COM 13
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English 13
Search Results 0 to 12 of about 13 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Oct 10, 2012 11:30pm PDT
up romney the latest polls have romney neck and neck with obama. folks, this race is as tight as mitt's smile when he meets a poor person. ( laughter ) ( laughter ) unfortunately, unfortunately, folks, there's still one poll out there that gives paum a chance. >> 7-eleven stores are giving voice to the people by offering a choice of coffee cubs in obama blue or romney red. the company says the votes people cast nationally can be used as valuable polling data. >> stephen: yes. in 7-eleven's cup hole, right now, obama is up by 20 points ( cheers and applause ) no, folks, wait a second. are we sure they're not using four--year-old data? because i'm pretty sure they're using four-year-old hot dogs. what is terrifying about this is the 7-eleven cup poll is uncharacterly accurate. >> did you know this promotion actually lined up perfectly with the results of a 2004 and 2008 elections? >> stephen: and who can forget in 2010 when they accurately predicted the election of senator shrek? ( laughter ) nation, i call bias on 7-eleven. their entire poll has a margin of error of plus or m
Comedy Central
Oct 9, 2012 11:30pm PDT
to me. nation, it has been 16 months since mitt romney declared his candidacy-- a month since he accepted the nomination and five days since he started running for president. (laughter) folks, he is surging! new polls have him tied with or leading the president and the "new york times" 538 blog now gives him a 28.6% chance of winning! he is on a rocket ride to plausible! (laughter) and, of course, in the face of this surge, obama has become desperate. yesterday at a california fund fund-raiser he warned the audience what it's gonna take to win saying "we're only going to do it if everybody is almost obsessive for the next 29 days." (laughter) that's right, obama supporters, right now you're only logged on to his web site, facebook page, twitter feed, youtube channel, mobile app, pinterest board, tumblr, flickr, spotify, storify and ins gram. he needs you to commence! folks, i'm worried obama's followers are obsessive enough to pull this thing off. actually, i think they're obsessive-compulsive. how else could he have raised $181 million in donations last month-- 98% of which were
Comedy Central
Oct 8, 2012 10:30am PDT
. (laughter) is the hispanic vote still in play? >> not really. i just say the latest poll from latino decisions and 73% of latinos tend to be-- they said they'll be voting for president barack obama. about 21% for mitt romney. (cheers and applause) mostly latinos tend to vote for democrats, not republicans. >> stephen: but why? romney's father was born in mexico! (laughter) he's a latino! >> he was born in-- you know, i asked him if he was a latino and he told me no. and i think it would be a little too much if he's doing only 21%. he would be doing 15% or 16%. >> stephen: he did his best to appear latino when he was there. jimmy, can we put up the picture here? on the left here is romney when he was in miami two days before. on the right is when he was talking with you on univision. >> that is true but the numbers-- he spent a few days in florida so that changes everything. (laughter) >> stephen: he was apparently campaigning in a nuclear reactor. (laughter) which candidate-- you also do analysis, right? who do you think would be better for the immigrant community? >> there's no ques
Comedy Central
Oct 8, 2012 11:30pm PDT
from last week's runnaway debate victory for mitt romney. he's got the mitt-mentum. the mo-mitt-num. the rom-nentum. there's still no word for it, it's never existed before. he got a bump in the polls. campaign donations are rolling in. it's all good news! >> a september jobs report with the unemployment number now down to 7.8%, the lowest rate since the president took office. >> stephen: except for any news that is actually good. (laughter) folks, this .3% drop in the unemployment rate seems just a little too barely better than true. >> maybe it's a coincidence. >> a month before the election we have a number that comes out 1/10 below when the president took office. >> i'm not a huge conspiracy theorist but i will go with jack welch. >> how convenient the rate drops below 8% for the first time in 43 months five weeks before an election. >> right back to where it was january 2009. >> the headline right now. >> coinkidink. >> stephen: folks, this is more than a coinkidink, it is a full pledge-- fledge conspiraa-dinki-doink. and the head of hufflepuff is right. oh, how conven
Search Results 0 to 12 of about 13 (some duplicates have been removed)